No matter the mistake, you'll always shine with glitter

The Narcissist

D!
Yours truly. 17. Female. Malaysian. Petite. 27th MAY. Single. Maybe available *hinthint* NEWS is her only drug. Absolutely, magically in love with BEAST. Hey! Say! JUMP. SHINee. Super Junior. In that order. Assuntarian. A Harry Potter Twitter Role-Player. Compulsive writer. Lusting for a glance in her direction. Sings like the world is deaf. As genuine as you can get. A self-proclaimed narcissist. Enjoys not having the other half
Love me? Hate me? I'll still be me. Enjoy. Lyn|Avery
Books Pave the Way to Destruction Yet to A Beauty Beyond Imaginations

Her Domain

286 posts from 5 June 2011
Escaping the conforms of society
To stupefy the endless expanse of the universe
Advancing into a world unknown
Please don't RIP Ask permission.
Discover where else she speaks her mind
Twitter: @theivorykeys
Facebook: Shern Lyn Khuan
Email: Contact either TorFB for details. (;

Her Cravings

• To be any JE member's adopted sister
• My first book published
• To meet NewS
• To meet Hey!Say!JUMP
• To meet Super Junior
• To meet SHINee
• To get signed to SM Entertainment
• A degree in English
• Black skinnies (:
• ~~White skinnies (:~~
• ~~A pet. Definetely~~
• Japanese boy uniform
• To perform a JE song medley
• To perform in Tokyo Dome and get signed to JE
• Another trip to Japan
• Permanent Japanese residence
• A yukata
• ~~A red and black checkered scarf~~
• To cosplay
• My first perfect Japanese bento lunch
• ~~A Japanese dictionary~~
• Understand and speak fluent Japanese
• Understand and speak fluent Korean
• National status as a writer
• A laptop or something similar
Will be updated when fancy strikes

Her One True Loves

MY BRATs TEAM. Alor Star 2011 NewS (Lots of love). Hey! Say! JUMP. Masuda Takahisa. Kato Shigeaki. Pen. Paper. Trees. Yamashita Tomohisa SHINee 3A12009. Super Junior. Nakajima Yuuto. Mathematics. Window shopping. Tegoshi Yuya. Japan! Twilight and Dusk. Kim Jong-Woon Sunset. Beaches. Rain. Stars. Inspiration. Koyama Keiichiro. Colours. Winter. Snow. Winter jackets. Nishikido Ryo.

Runaway

Ramblings&Memories

A few words would be nice. :D

By post:
feeling helpless
being strong
Hatred Is Not Only A Feeling
To Shed Or Not To Shed
Can It Be Called Love?
When You Fall, Fall With Grace
Is It Called Self Abuse?
The Words of a Man in Love
Of Headaches and Departures
wow

By month:
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
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June 2009
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October 2009
November 2009
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January 2010
February 2010
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June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
October 2011

go entertain yourself; too much crap

Thursday, February 25, 2010 @ 7:21 PM

go entertain yourself; too much crap

I haven't been blogging for a while. I barely have anything to blog about Singapore so...don't expect one. Well, there is only one though, that I wrote on my iTouch while lying on my bed in the hostel. =)
My class has got to be the most uncooperative people in the world. Firstly, when we started out with carnival ideas, no one bothered to give an solid suggestions. And I suggested Maid Cafe and they ate it up and then they suggested Twister. So we did both. And then Twister got cancelled because there wasn't anyone who wanted to claim reponsibility for it.
When I start explaining about the Maid Cafe, no one wants to listen and then they generate their own ideas on what it should be.
Which makes me so pissed off.
And then, they're so worried about money.
You so worried about money then no need to do lah. You can stand there and sell lousy, crappy things that you want so much to sell.
I waste my time bothering to compose a letter and then none of you bother to read it. Why? Because Facebook has crammed so many things into your email that you don't bother to clear it. What a stupid reason. Don't give me shit, okay.
And because you never listened and didn't bother to open you email and clear it to read an important email, you decide to generate your own ideas. I don't like to scream at you but because you don't bother listening and make me so mad, I can't help but to do it.
You think I like lah?
You think I enjoy screaming at people?
Go f- yourself. Please ignore me if you suddenly see profanities here eventhough I'm against them. With these bunch of ignorant brats, I'm trying very hard not to type those words out but I might just end up doing so.
And wanting to dress up as a photographer? What the hell do you think this is? A costume party? Should I go out and get myself a Bellatrix costume or is that too overdressed for you?
Don't be stuuupid and Shylinee! Yes, I'm directing this bitch slap comment at you.
Oh, cashier or not cashier, wear a fucking skirt.
You want to not wear a skirt or dress up? Get the fuck out of Maid Cafe and into food where you don't have to a single but stand around and look pretty.
You don't want to earn money for the class. Fine. Go away. We don't need you.
And take your lousy, uncommited gang with you. We don't need them either.
Yes, we all want to have fun. If you can wear a skirt for Interact, why can't you wear a skirt for Maid Cafe?
I didn't ask you to wear a miniskirt or one that shows off your legs. You can wear a skirt below your knees for all I care, as long as you resemble a waitress.
Go fuck off, please. I don't need your crap in my face.
And for all I care, you can go and have your Cherry's cream puffs. They are so not better than Bread Papa's. Their quality is below the ground and the pastry is not fluffy and crispy and the cream sticks to your tongue and leaves an unpleasant feeling.
But if you feel like giving our customers low quality things just because you can't spare me RM75 just for 25 pieces of cream puffs, you can go and deal yourself with the cream puffs. I shall handle the chocolate fountain with people who will bother with it. And we shall have jelly. All I will allow you to control is the goddamned cream puffs. And when people don't spread the word that we have awesome cream puffs, the blame shall be on you, alright?
I won't claim any blame for lousy cream puffs. And the sttupid cream puffs are smaller than the palm of my hand. How much are you planning to charge for one? One buck per small miserable piece. Or are you planning to charge one buck for two pieces?
No one will buy a small miserable cream puff slightly bigger than a 50 cent coin for one buck and if you charge one buck for two pieces, profit made? Zero.
Two bucks for three pieces? Isn't that too much? Yes, you get 50 cents profit but still, none is going to us. Profit, no profit, we can't claim anything.
Three bucks per piece for a cream puff bigger than the size of my palm is worth it. But since you guys care about money and not quality, oh, go ahead.
How much or how little we spend, we won't get anything back.
But oh well, you can have your lousy cream puffs. My dad already discussed with the lady who owns the store, 100 pieces for 45 cents each, order by Wednesday, collected on Saturday morning.
But, that's only what I discussed. Neither myself or my parents will make the order or go with you to order. Settle it on your own. I can even ask for a bigger size but oh well, that's you. I'm no longer associating myself with lousy cream puffs.
I wanted good quality cream puffs with cream made from pure vanilla seeds you can see the specks of vanilla in the cream with an intense flavour designed to stun but no, you want cream that lasts for two seconds.
Suit yourself.
And if we succeed, I'd reward each person who stuck by my side with a cream puff of excellent quality and not cheap cream puffs who's price totally suits it.

Muchappreciationandlove,
Lynxoxo

first of all...

Friday, February 19, 2010 @ 7:57 AM

first of all...

I've wanted to write this for so long but I never had the heart to do it because I loved you. Now, I don't think I love you all that much anymore.
Hunney, you broke my heart with your betrayal. The one thing I knew but had never expected with you. I loved you with all my heart but you didn't give me any in return.
Now, I know. I should never have trusted you. I should never have let my guard down with you.
At first I guarded myself, having been betrayed in such a way before but then I let it down when I knew that I could trust you.
Seems like I should have never have.
Now, faced with your betrayal, once more, I've changed.
For good or for worse, I can't tell but I can never look at you the same way I did.
I doubt you'd ever read this but to those who do read it, if you know who I'm talking about. Good for you. You can choose to tell, you can choose to shut up. Nothing can hurt me more than I've already been. Even if I lose you even furthur.
After all, I've already lost you.
I can no longer claim that I will love you no matter what. We're done for relationships and the one we had, without your heart and soul will never be repaired.
I can't say that I love you anymore.
Maybe we should just remain as accquaintances.
Then when I see your betrayal/face splashed across my FaceBook, I won't feel like crying.
I haven't let myself cry though.
I won't cry over such a petty thing.

Muchappreciationandlove,
Lynxoxo

P.S. I'm BACK!

the little tears; double meanings

Tuesday, February 2, 2010 @ 4:20 AM

the little tears; double meanings

Hmm, sometimes I wonder if the words that had passed previously between us were the truth. Sometimes, I'm hurt so badly by what had been promised but never been carried out. I know we love each other but sometimes I wonder if the love is evenly spread out.
Right now, it's spread four-three with no seven in between. It hurts to know that despite my efforts to love each and everyone evenly, you don't seem to want to be loved.
Saying that I won't lose one of the most precious people in my life because she won't ditch me was an understatement. Despite you not being able to see it, it's clearly displayed to me that I've lost her.
It hurts to know that there's no one that I could really share whatever I need to say to because in my opinion, you've robbed me of her. I doubt it's your fault that it happened but on the other hand, I do blame you at the same time.
I have a feeling that if you read this, you would know who you are but I can't hate you despite the fact that there is a little burning inside.
Sometimes, I want to shut the toilet door and sit inside and cry and cry for hours or just read a sad book just so the tears would come out but I hold it all in. I force myself to be stronger that the weak, emotional female I know I am.
You don't know this and I have a feeling that the love between us has grown thin.
Sometimes, it hurts to see you and then you ignore me.
I might be the source of whatever you're feeling, I don't know. I just have a feeling I am.
But the ignorance grates on my nerves. Maybe it's your intention. I don't know.
I wonder if it's done intentionally to push me away.
For as long as I can remember, I've hidden myself. I'm less open now. I put up a facade because I love you and I don't want you to see what I'm purposely hiding underneath.
There are times when tears find themselves out but I still hold them back. No use wasting it for something that I don't really understand.
Maybe if we weren't apart. But it seems that the three of us out of seven have been severely neglected. Maybe we didn't notice it before but you were alpha female and we were forever in your shadow. Not that that's a bad thing. We're content with where we are because of our love.
I don't want what had happened to me in primary school to be repeated again but I don't think that is possible.
Sometimes, I wonder if the looks you shoot me are looks of annoyance or contempt or just pure irritance. Sometimes, I just want to shy away and hide but there's no one else I can turn to. No one else who would accept me for who I am.
Yet, I am perfectly content living as a hermit. But not when I know that those I love are still around and breathing.
Maybe I should just shy away and hide.
After all, I've already lost one of the most important persons in my life.
Maybe I should begin a diary. I've got no where to throw all my pains, thoughts and the likes. You used to be my sounding board but not any longer.
I'm so lost.
Maybe I should just shed a few tears to relieve myself of this aching and put it behind me. I still have people who love me all the same but I miss the love we used to share.
You used to shout the name of a different person when you needed to run yet now you call her name.
Maybe you do it on purpose. Maybe you don't notice that by doing that, I die a little further.
You have grown so attached that the rest of us seem ditched.
Maybe I should say that instead of a four-three, it's more of a three-four.
Maybe you haven't realised it.
Maybe you have.
I don't know what to feel anymore.
If I decide to not be with you guys anymore, I might have had the wrong message and then you'll wonder what's wrong.
I really don't know what to feel anymore. I'll just have to wait and see.
Right now, I'm in one of those dilemmas in those cliched teenage dramas.
Maybe they're not so cliched after all.

I don't know what to do.

I'm so lost.

Much love and appreciation,
Lynxoxo