*With a swish and a flick, behold a magic trick
The Narcissist
D!
Yours truly. 17. Female. Malaysian. Petite. 27th MAY. Single. Maybe available *hinthint* NEWS is her only drug. Absolutely, magically in love with BEAST. Hey! Say! JUMP. SHINee. Super Junior. In that order. Assuntarian. A Harry Potter Twitter Role-Player. Compulsive writer. Lusting for a glance in her direction. Sings like the world is deaf. As genuine as you can get. A self-proclaimed narcissist. Enjoys not having the other half
Love me? Hate me? I'll still be me. Enjoy. Lyn|Avery
Books Pave the Way to Destruction Yet to A Beauty Beyond Imaginations
Her Domain
286 posts from 5 June 2011
Escaping the conforms of society
To stupefy the endless expanse of the universe
Advancing into a world unknown
Please don't RIP Ask permission.
Discover where else she speaks her mind
Twitter: @theivorykeys
Facebook: Shern Lyn Khuan
Email: Contact either TorFB for details. (;
Her Cravings
• To be any JE member's adopted sister
• My first book published
• To meet NewS
• To meet Hey!Say!JUMP
• To meet Super Junior
• To meet SHINee
• To get signed to SM Entertainment
• A degree in English
• Black skinnies (:
•
•
• Japanese boy uniform
• To perform a JE song medley
• To perform in Tokyo Dome and get signed to JE
• Another trip to Japan
• Permanent Japanese residence
• A yukata
•
• To cosplay
• My first perfect Japanese bento lunch
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• Understand and speak fluent Japanese
• Understand and speak fluent Korean
• National status as a writer
• A laptop or something similar
Will be updated when fancy strikes
Her One True Loves
MY BRATs TEAM. Alor Star 2011 NewS (Lots of love). Hey! Say! JUMP. Masuda Takahisa. Kato Shigeaki. Pen. Paper. Trees. Yamashita Tomohisa SHINee 3A12009. Super Junior. Nakajima Yuuto. Mathematics. Window shopping. Tegoshi Yuya. Japan! Twilight and Dusk. Kim Jong-Woon Sunset. Beaches. Rain. Stars. Inspiration. Koyama Keiichiro. Colours. Winter. Snow. Winter jackets. Nishikido Ryo.
Runaway
Infatuated<3Unofficial HSJ Malaysia LJ
abelchi| amandang/doldol | amylim | annatan | ashleykhor | ben-jielim | chuachiyan | cynthiaong | dariusbehyunji<3 | eelainetan | eeleng | euniceho | huichee | honpaige | horsegirl15 | jadeyeap<3 | kin-chan<3 | lydiaong | marcusheng | miki-chan<3 | nicolefong | nicolemarcus | previta | samuellee
Ramblings&Memories
A few words would be nice. :D
By post:
feeling helpless
being strong
Hatred Is Not Only A Feeling
To Shed Or Not To Shed
Can It Be Called Love?
When You Fall, Fall With Grace
Is It Called Self Abuse?
The Words of a Man in Love
Of Headaches and Departures
wow
By month:
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
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Friday, December 25, 2009 @ 7:26 PM
a trip down memory lane; how we and they have grownIt's almost the end of the year and I'm feeling extremely sentimental. Oh, shoot me if you don't like being sentimental. When I look back on this year, I look back on how I've changed and how the world around me has gone through subtle but meaningful changes. I've done so many things that I have never bothered to do. The one that is most important to my heart is my fandubbing. For years, I have watched from afar people take their cameras/microphones etc. and fandubbed songs yet this is the first time I have done it and I've received a few positive comments. I'm still going to continue to fandub but for the time being, I'll tone down my work since I don't have much to work with. My low notes are horrifying, I can't harmonize but I'm still proud of myself. I took the giant leap to push myself to do so. As I look back, despite people having told me that me getting 7As for PMR was out of pure luck, I don't think it is. Yes, I did not work as hard as SM or V or the others who score straight As in class while I only score 2As but I think I have worked hard enough to score the 7As. Through the running up and down and staying up late, I think I did work hard enough. Pooh pooh, to whatever you want to say. Also, I think I have grown in mentality though I still retain the childishness that I'm famous for. Having celebrated the Mid-Winter Festival a few days back, I think I can say that I've finally grown another year older despite neither New Year's Day nor my birthday has arrived. And, not to mention the bond that we share has grown even stronger and bigger. The web of friendship that binds us together, hearttoheart, mindtomind, despite what some may think has grown larger and has spread furthur. We've gone through thick and thin together. We've pulled each other through depressions. We've been there for each other when nobody wanted to be. We've put up with each other despite our individual faults. We stuck together even when we got on each others nerves. We loved each other as if we were bonded from the first day. We've laughed over the most meaningless of things. We've gotten upset of the tiniest things. We've teased each other to no end. We've gotten mad together. We've gone on healthy highs together. We've smiled for the camera together numerous times. We've taken silly pictures and laugh over them despite us looking terrible in it. We've defended each other despite being wrong. We've sacrificed a million things for each other's happiness. We've taken insults as one and thrown them back as six. We've spent countless memorable moments together. Hell, we spent alot of memorable time together. We've come a long way from the little quiet people we were when we first met in Form1. We've come a long way from the personalities that we left behind when we grew closer. We've come a long way from the silly, brainless, conceited brats that we shedded as we grew older. Most of all, we've come a long way from being lonely to being surrounded by people we love. I hope you guys know how much I love you guys. Not only for who you are but also for the person that you've made me become and never forget that. And remember, SueLynn gets married first. And lastly, the source of my being sentimentalness. The boys whom I owe part of my life to. Hey! Say! JUMP, NewS, Arashi and KAT-TUN though it's only a tiny smattering of KAT-TUN. As I was watching NewS' Weeeek, I realise how much our lovely boys have grown since the very day they've debuted as the nine member NewS and finally after loads of scandals to produce the six member NewS that all of us fangirls love and cherish to the bottom of our hearts. It's surprising to see that they've matured so much especially the baby, Tegoshi and the ever endearing Kato. Their member ai has grown over the years and they are closer than ever. You can tell in the way they enjoy each other's company. In the way they laugh freely among each other. In the way that they open up. In the way they tease each other without boundaries. I still look back onto their old videos and smile whenever I look at their angelic faces and compare them to the more recent videos and I smile even wider. It's hard to see that they've grown so much. You still expect them to be the silly, hilarious, endearing boys that they were when they debuted. Not to mention, Hey! Say! JUMP. Despite the boys not having much group activity this year unless you count concerts, I still love them. They too have grown so much from the very first moment Hey! Say! 7 debuted with only Arioka Daiki, Nakajima Yuto, Chinen Yuuri, Yamada Ryosuke and Takaki Yuya. They are no longer the babyfaced boys we use to squeal and jump over. They've finally outgrown those baby bodies and into the lean, sexy bodies of adults and teenagers. Takaki Yuya, Yabu Kota, Yaotome Hikaru and Inoo Kei are fast approaching their 21st year where they will finally make the official transition from teenager to adult. It's shocking that when we first saw them, they were only young things still fresh off the junior team. Nakajima Yuto, Chinen Yuuri, Okamoto Keito and Yamada Ryosuke were merely fourteen when the official Hey! Say! JUMP debuted. Look at how far they've gone and they're soon to be seventeen next year. It's real surprising at how much all of us, the world has grown. And we'll keep growing till the end of time. We'll constantly look forward but when time calls for it, we'll take a glance backwards and look at all the awesome times spent doing awesome things and then soar briefly through the times when you've felt sadness and laugh before forgetting for another long period of time. Muchloveandappreciation,
Lynxoxo |
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Wednesday, December 23, 2009 @ 9:32 PM
tears of joy; overwhelmingI'mma make this short and simple. Not really much in a blogging mood. I think getting straight As isn't very much to blog about. =) Thanks right. You heard me correct. Straight 7As baybeh. Who'd ever thought. Acknowledgements: Thank you to my parents for ferrying me up and down from school and to project sites. Especially to my mom for all her help in getting us special privileges for our Victoria Institution visit. Mom, you're the best. And to Daddy, for putting up with me when I refused to study. Thank you especially to Sue Lynn for having helped me through Geography and explaining everything to me even when my questions are blonde ones. I love you, dear. Thank you to those who have helped me through all my subjects, specifically my ex-tuition teacher, Ms. Brenda Yeoh and her sister, my current tuition teacher, Ms. Eunice Yeoh for having pulled me through Science and Maths. Thank you to the five best friends anyone can have. You guys know who you are. I'll always love you. And lastly, thank you to NewS and Hey! Say! JUMP and Arashi for having kept me sane through this period of stress, tension, anger, frustration...you name it. Muchappreciationandlove, Lynxoxo
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Tuesday, December 22, 2009 @ 10:56 PM
sparkle, sparkle; filled with nonsensical stuffTurns out, I won't be able to celebrate Christmas this year. Since I'm not Christian but my grandaunt is, she usually holds a small family get-together but this year my greatgrandmother and their maid is suffering from conjunctivities. (Is that how you spell it?) So, no Christmas celebrations this year. It's actually no big deal to me. I don't really celebrate either. I just eat. And eat. And watch TV. And read. And listen to the whole bunch of relatives make noise. =) Big flop though since my toddler and kid cousins are back and this is their first Christmas with us if I'm not mistaken. They're on their summer break so they're gonna be here till after Chinese New Year but they're on a super-tight schedule so, I don't knowlah! Hmmm... Oh yes! Major news. Shonen Club's on NHK (Astro Channel 963) right? Usually shown at 8/9 something right? For the past few weeks, I've been waiting and waiting to watch Shonen Club but each time I turn on the telly at the above said times, it's not there. At first, I thought that NHK had switched the satellites broadcasting to Malaysia to the satellite that doesn't broadcast Shounen...NHK has three satellites. Only two broadcast ShonenClub. When I checked the Astro's website that day for programme listing after going through loads of LiveJournals for information and stumbled across one saying that the broadcast time is at 12:10AM for Singapore. When I checked, turns out, Malaysia's also showing it at 12:10AM in the morning. I was dejected. I doubt my parents will allow me to stay up so late when the next day is a school day. Bummer. I have neglected my novel writing for so long that I feel so guilty. Originally, it was supposed to be done by the end of this year yet, I procrastinated and procrastinated till it's barely half-complete. Oh well. The next post might be a rant post on some idiot...Should I provide a name? I really want to. Muchloveandappreciation, Lynxoxo |
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009 @ 9:14 PM
the thrill of words; another masterpiece producedI think the title says all. I've got another fanfiction up. This time, I've posted it to a livejournal fiction writing community. It's a Hey! Say! JUMP Fanfiction baybeh! It's written at www.theivorykeys.livejournal.com Title: A Forbidden Rhapsody: Chapter 1 Chapter Title: Where Ends Begin Author: theivorykeys Fandom: Hey! Say! JUMP Pairing: NakajimaYutoxOC Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Suspense, Adventure Rating: G (Might change later) Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and my OC Type: Multi-chapter Notes: It's written in the third person POV but it is also told from the first person POV. Summary: Elementals are all male. A strange incident on New Year's Day leads to the discovery of a strong-willed, hard-headed, orphaned and adopted female Elemental. Her Element is unique and the only one to have ever existed. Yet, the person she's destined to be with is the only person who cannot touch her. Nakajima Yuto is drawn instantly but he has no idea why. Sparks fly and one wonders if they have been destined by the stars. Muchappreciationandlove, Lynxoxo |
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Sunday, December 13, 2009 @ 8:13 AM
the wonders of pretty boys; infatuation re-strikes
I've wanted to fangirl here for sometime but I never found something good enough to grace the page of my blog. Chewah~! (to quote Pn. Rozaini) So, to all non-fangirls, skip this post. It's nothing to you people. You'd never understand. Once more, it's back to the fangirling of the NewS boys. Their ranking still stands at 1st place: Masuda Takahisa a.k.a. Massu 2nd place: Shigeaki Kato a.k.a. Shige 3rd place: Tegoshi Yuya a.k.a. Tego-nya 4th place: Keiichiro Koyama a.k.a. Kei-chan 5th place: Yamashita Tomohisa a.k.a. YamaPi 6th place: Nishikido Ryo a.k.a. Ry0-chan Yes, all Ryo fangirls. Kill me if you wish but I don't give a damn. I'm not Ryo fangirl and the only reason YamaPi is at second last place is because he's lost the appeal once the rumours of his supposed girlfriend started to fly. Actually, I don't really give a damn but he doesn't really rank higher than my top four. I used to be a huge YamaPi fan but he lost the appeal though I still squeal at him but I don't fangirl anymore.I moved Shige from third place to second place becuause he's more adorable now than he was before. The NewS Winter Party Diamond concert proved that. And he's more lovable and more able to make me laugh and also squeal at the same time. Not to mention his genius of his Shalala Tanbarin music video. Kei-chan remains in fourth because my sister's already staked her claim on him though I silently fangirl over him. Tego-nyan is a recent addition to my fangirl list after my sister decided to fangirl over Tegomass and dragged me into it. Watching old Tegomass videos made me fall in love with Tego-nyan and his genuine laugh and also his sadisticness and his matureness. Massu. Now, Massu's a whole different story. You people have heard his story before so I shan't repeat it. I just love NewS. They're such a powerful drug. My ever-lasting, non-toxic but highly addictive drug. I was recently watching the NewS Winter Party Diamon concert along with it's documentary. The concert's much more interesting now though I preferred their debut concert, the Never Ending Wonderful Story concert. It's the best compared to NWPD and Pacific. The NWPD is what triggered the sudden burst of fangirlness. *bigsmileandgrin* Muchloveandappreciation, Lynxoxo |
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Friday, December 11, 2009 @ 12:16 AM
a little notice; might not be realHewwwoooo to all the little darlings who stalk my blog. I might be changing my bloglink soon reasons being: 1) Someone I don't like's stalking the blog 2) I'm bored with the bloglink 3) It's too long 4) Someone seems to find it ridiculous 5) Someone copied it in a way 6) All of the above You choose, darlings. Let me leave it to your brains. And this time, I'll inform everyone on my bloglist since when I just tell you guys to relink with a relink page, no one does. *bigsmile* =) Or maybe I should just private it for a moment since it's so dead. I don't know. I might not even change. Well, darlings. You just gotta wait. Muchloveandappreciation, Lynxoxo And for the record, I'm in love with YamaPi. Who cares if he's got a girlfriend? Staring at him is enough to make you fall in love. And the accent is shooo smexy. Okay, he doesn't have an accent. It's a slang. But I still love him. |
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Friday, December 4, 2009 @ 7:59 AM
stupidity grips my heart; is that so wrong?Another emo post. Skip if you don't want to be emo or read another of my emo crap. It's the same situation as the one before. Enjoy: I feel stuupid. I feel used. I feel like a joke. I feel like a girl-in-love. I should never have trusted you and betrayed my parents' trust and my own promise to myself. I should never have ditched my girlfriends just to spend an hour with you if I had known that the time I spend with you was useless. And couple rings? If you had truly wanted them, you would have gotten them anyway despite me saying that I don't wear accessories. If you had gotten them, I would have worn it no matter what. But you didn't. And your Facebook decides to declare that you love her and I don't seem a mention of me. Maybe I should just forget about you and throw you away. The same way you play with my feelings and my heart. One day, there's going to be a post here saying that you no longer mean anything to me and that I realised I was a fool for loving and trusting you and it will say about how I laughed when I look back on those times and that you can kiss my ass goodbye and it will be filled with Taylor Swift's White Horse lyrics. So, there. I'm not a force to be messed with. Don't worry. You'll get a spot in my heart when I infuse the way you treated me into the character in my book that also broke the heroine's heart the same way you did. By playing with her feelings and leading her on. Watch out, W. I'll always be waiting and watching. For that moment when you're at your weakest. For the moment when I will strike. You'll be sorry you ever decided to play me because I'll get you back in ways you never imagined. Muchappreciationandlove, Lynxoxo |
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Tuesday, December 1, 2009 @ 11:46 PM
confessions of my fragile heart; breaking and tearing into piecesThis was half-written in my dorm, Irau during my days at the ten day OYP/ACC 11 course and half-written sitting at home after looking at Facebook following an onslaught of emotions. So to all OYP/ACC 11 people who have been waiting for a confession especially A, here it is. Yet this is only the opinion on my side. What I feel and see and what I think. Enjoy another emo post: My heart hurts. My heart hurts real badly. At first I thought that I could forget you. At first I thought that these feelings that I had for you would disappear once I returned home. I knew I could never have you. I knew I wouldn't be able to.I went to OB once more to push myself to the limits. To conquer the fear of heights that I couldn't conquer the last time I went. Yet, something else unexpected happened. I was chased. By a male specimen, nonetheless. One time, you asked me if you could call me jie jie and I agreed. After all, I was always the elder sister, being a mother figure to most people. When the being chased by the insistent male specimen got even worse, I turned to my sai lo. I turned to you for help. I relied on you to protect me as you intimidated most people and could be very protective of people when you wanted to. You were like a shield. You held me in your arms and made me feel safe. You ignited sparks that I thought had long died with my promise to keep off males till I finish college and enter the working world. Yet, I hid those feelings and quelled them, half-successfully though. I still remember what I said to when we sat on the beach after I was the first female to finish the rapelling activity. When I complained to you about the insistent male and when you offered to help me out. You told me to stick to you. And I did. I sat in your arms, between your legs and rested my head in the crook of your arm against your chest as we sat there and talked. On my part, there was nothing romantic about complaining about a guy who refuses to back down despite my many denials. Yet, butterflies floated about the base of my stomach. The feeling was that I was safe. In your embrace. I said: Yerr. We're sitting here like this as if we're boy-girlfriend only. And you replied: Nolah, where got? And we continued on talking. I didn't know what you were feeling at that time but to me, I was elated. I was floating but I was cautious. I didn't want to break the promise to myself. I stuck to you the whole time there to fend off the male but little did I know that you would play with my heart. Toy with my feelings. Little did I know that you would hurt me. That night, I opted to be on night watch just to stay up with you so that I wouldn't have to be on duty with him but he decided to go on at the same time as I did anyway. Feeling rather annoyed, I stuck to you even more to get him jealous. As we watched the campfire burn and tended to it, you told me you loved me. I asked you if you really meant it or it was just to make the male jealous and you told me you meant it. Was that real? Did you really mean it at that time? Or was it just a ploy to test your feelings for SL? Yeah, you should be aware that she told me about what you told her. You kissed me. Once without tongue and another with tongue. That was twice. And before you said you loved me. You took my first kiss away from me by shock. At that moment, I told myself: Take it as your first kiss. Someone who cared about you gave it to you. But did you really care about me or was it just a test to yourself to prove that you could love someone else? Right now, I do not take that as a first kiss or take the subsequents kisses that followed as real kisses because real kisses matter to my heart and are done with feeling. Yes, I did feel. A lot but at the moment, there is no longer love in it and my first kiss was done in shock. They do not count. Just so you know, you kissed me six times plus the ones at the second campsite during the second expedition. At Pangkor, I began to fall for you after I saw how much you cared but now, I'm wondering. Did you really at all care or was it to make SL jealous? After all, you trusted her more than you trusted me. Enough to tell her about your past and your parents and entrust her with the necklace that your grandmother gave to you six years ago. You didn't find enough to trust me with these things yet you kissed me like I was your life. Was I just an object of your lust? You should know that I was enough in love with you. Enough that I hurt when you pushed me away. You didn't give me an explaination. Nor did you tell me that you didn't want me anymore. You just closed me off. Did I really mean nothing to you after you kissed me and told me that you meant it when you said I love you? That happened a few days after we left Pangkor and before we left for jungle trekking. A hated that we were getting too touchy-feeling and all over each other. All the rest of the girls agreed. SL offered to tell you to stop as she was close to you. Under pressure to stop getting all touchyandfeely, I hid my feelings and said that I didn't love you and used you as protection. I forced myself to believe that and when you pushed me away after SL told you, I realised that I had made a giant mistake. I not only hurt you. I hurt myself in the process. Yet, you seemed unfazed and continued to care for me minus the touching and getting close. I remember the time when your dorm didn't get up and I had to go and call you. You held me close in front of the dorm when you guys woke up and said that you didn't wear underwear when you slept. I was happy for a moment. I thought that everything was normal between us. The hurt began when I couldn't stand your temper. You hurt me once before the shut down occured by yelling at me that I refused to do any work when you asked me to accompany you and someone else (I can't remember who) to replace the gallon bottles in the storeroom. You yelled at me because I didn't move when you asked me to and misinterpreted that I didn't move by reluctance. In truth, I was listening to something that someone was saying. But you didn't stay for an explaination. You just snatched the gallon bottle out of my hands and gave me a cold stare. When we went back to the dorm, SL told me that you told her to tell me that you were sorry for losing your temper and yelling at me. I instantly apologized saying that I understood that your temper was something you couldn't control and that you could lose it easily. When you lost your temper once more on a following day, after telling me to shut up and I wouldn't, that was when I got really angry at you and refused to speak to you. At that moment, you had not only made me angry, you had hurt me. That was when you shut me off and refused to speak to me. That day after dinner, I cried. I cried for the first time in so many months. I apologized to you the next morning when we were preparing for jungle trekking and you refused to accept the apology. Instead, you told me to get away and not go close to you. At that moment, an onslaught of emotions hit me. I was angry and furious and frustrated and shocked all at the same time but the emotion that was the most apparent on the inside yet hidden on the outside was sadness. Each time you apologized to me, I accepted but when I apologized, you refused to. I had shoved aside my giant ego to apologize to you for something that I deemed as not my fault yet I had gotten THAT as a response was a real blow not only to my ego but my heart. I might seem like someone real strong and ganas on the outside but if you really knew me, I have the most fragile and soft heart that you could ever find. I cry at the smallest of things. And I cry when people cry. I hurt when people hurt and I care deeply for those around me even if I hate you. I cannot stand to see people hurt or people in trouble. I get conned easily as I'm extremely guillible and when I hurt on the inside, I will hurt for a very long time. I cannot stand when people insult me even though it seems as though I'm able to. I have taught myself to be strong against all these things but I never taught myself to be strong against the matters of love. In that situtation, I leave my heart vunerable as my experience is close to zero. I know that at this age, I shouldn't be bothered about the matters of the heart but I can't help it if someone becomes nice to me and makes me fall in love with them. I can steel my heart against all things except for this. I am female after all and also human. When we were camping at the lake, once more, you were nice to me. You held me when I shivered and was civil to me during the de-briefing session. You listened to me when I insisted that you get into the girls' tent when it started to rain along with P, of course. That was when you decided to kiss me for the fifth time. And play with my heart once more. I slept in your arms and once more, I felt safe. The next day. You ignored me. You didn't even look at me as if I was a piece of scum. As if I wasn't worth speaking to or even worth looking at. It made me wonder. Was the night before just to hurt me? Or just to satisfy a lust that you couldn't satisfy with SL? I couldn't tell the difference. After that, all you cared about was her. You didn't speak to me. You didn't look at me. All you did was give me glances whenever you held her hand or spoke to her. Most of the time, you were looking at me like that. Was it to see if I was jealous? Was it to hurt me? If you answered yes to both, well, you are right. I was so badly hurt that I was angry and pissed most of the time. I don't show hurt or pain as it makes me too vunerable and it will make it easier for people to bully me. I taught myself to change it into anger and naturally, that was what happened but I didn't stay angry at SL as I knew that it wasn't her fault. I was mad at myself and also at you. I immersed myself in the people surrounding me to get my brain off you. And half the time, it works until I look at you and see you all over SL. You want to know? SL and I had a long talk about you. Wouldn't you wish you knew what we were talking about. Why don't you ask her yourself? After all, you trust her so much. If I told you, you would probably tell me to shut the fuck up and get lost. So, there you go. If you would like to know, she notices that for the past few days, I've been half angry and upset. And she's told you to apologize to me. To speak to me. And what did you tell her? You said: It's too late. I've made a big mistake and blahblahblah. How would you know if you've never tried? Right now, looking at your Facebook made me cry. I guess you were in love with her from the very start. I was just someone to play with. To convince yourself that you don't love her? I was just a replacement. I'm always the replacement. When will I ever be the real thing? You have no idea how much trust and love I had put into you. You didn't see that I cared deeply for you. I made the big mistake of denying you when my heart told me not to because I wanted to please and make those who disapproved of what we did happy. That's part of my attitude, I guess. I'd do anything to please someone without caring for myself first nor weighing the consequences. You call her dear whereas I was always babe. You probably deserve her more than you deserve me. After all, she was first a friend before you decided to court her. She knows more about you than I do. I know nothing. After all, you courted me before you befriended me or gave me any of your trust. I know I shouldn't feel this way. I know that I should put all of this in the past. But I still can't help but hope for an explaination and a chance for you to know my side of the story. To let you know how much you actually meant to me. And also to hear the truth from your mouth no matter how much I know it will hurt me. Your sweet, loving words on your Facebook and her pictures splashed all over it was a blow to me. It proves that I never meant anything to you. The moment I fell in love with you was the moment you pushed me away. I still remember the shot of pain and hatred when I see you with her. I hope you know the damage that you did to me. Muchloveandappreciation, Lynxoxo Koe wo kikasete/Let me hear your voice
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