Lookie! The password still works. So, I guess this is my turn to post here after four days of not posting. I’m a pretty much touchy-feely sort of person so this won’t be much about what we actually did but more of how I feel about the whole thing. Just a general summary of the four days. Not too many details. Here goes: *drumroll*

As I step onto the train, I realized that this was it. We were going home. And as it always is, it was not a feeling of relief and joy that I would have felt but the feeling of a part of myself disappearing. Four days of being a part of the BRATs family was not satisfying enough and I and I’m sure the rest of the Alor Setar BRATs 2011 would agree with me. The time spent bonding over the tiniest of things was too little but even so, the unforgettable bond of friendship was formed. How strong these bonds remain, we will never know and the future is for us to discover.

A day of ice-breaking began with Valerie and I stepping off the train after suffering a cramped 10 hour ride and were instantly met by Xing-yi, Marcus, Joash and Thiiban. We could not tell if they were shy because we were girls or because they didn’t know what to say but getting them to open up to us was a little difficult. However, a walk about the area to scout for breakfast changed all of that. And soon, two girls and four guys bonded over laksa, curry noodles and popiah along with teh ais, Milo ais, teh O’ ais and soya bean. It was on this fateful day or should I say night that I met the Barney Stinson to my Robin Sherbatsky. And much like these two famed characters of “How I Met Your Mother?”, we only managed to carry out a friendly relationship much to the aching of my once-tried heart. It began with a “legen-wait for it-dary” as well as a “I wanna get to know you” and ended with a photograph. Along the way there were whispered chats about assignment locations, gorgeous smiles, hearty laughter, stealing of an electronic device, Chemistry and Add Maths discussions, a bunch of mommy-ing and of course, a hug in an elevator.

From Pekan Rabu to Kota Kuala Kedah, each assignment was met with head on determination, frustration, irritants, b****h stares, frustrated outbursts, relief, headaches, groaning, pulling of hair, sarcastic looks from Niki, eating of fish/sotong strips from Ian, Jason’s camera and Meldoy’s pink-covered iPad. And not to forget, Ben-Jie, Amy and Pau Ling.

Yet as the relief of completing each assignment washed over me, something else stirred inside. I knew that the end was near and soon, we would be going our separate ways yet I fought to hold on till the very last moment when my foot crossed the threshold of the train. And until then, I still held on to the precious, life-changing memories that were formed in merely four days. And I would for the rest of my life.

Being a part of BRATs Alor Setar 2011 has literally changed me. In so many ways. My patience had been tried, tested and my fury had been felt. My heart forgot for a moment and a new stirring began. Friendships were formed and strong bonds were built. Experiences were gained and knowledge was passed along. Exhaustion so heavy that I could fall asleep just about anywhere. Riding on the train and then walking about town…

And meeting my Barney Stinson.

What wouldn’t I give to relive these memories? What wouldn’t I give to turn back time and undo the things that I wished I had not done? What wouldn’t I give to remain a part of the BRATs family? Answer? Nothing.

Nothing in this world is enough to make me forget and give up this experience. The good and the bad are now part of who I am and to quote Barbie as Rapunzel, “that will never change”.

A big thank-you to the R.AGE team for having made me a part of this programme and having enabled me to make this experience a part of my memory bank. And a thank-you to my Barney Stinson for having made me forget. If you know who you are, I am grateful to you and in the words of the great Barney Stinson, you are legen-wait for it-DARY!

Shern Lyn Khuan, How I Met Your BRAT, Alor Setar 2011

[Cross-posted to www.starbrats.tumblr.com

Labels: my heart's content