No matter the mistake, you'll always shine with glitter

The Narcissist

D!
Yours truly. 17. Female. Malaysian. Petite. 27th MAY. Single. Maybe available *hinthint* NEWS is her only drug. Absolutely, magically in love with BEAST. Hey! Say! JUMP. SHINee. Super Junior. In that order. Assuntarian. A Harry Potter Twitter Role-Player. Compulsive writer. Lusting for a glance in her direction. Sings like the world is deaf. As genuine as you can get. A self-proclaimed narcissist. Enjoys not having the other half
Love me? Hate me? I'll still be me. Enjoy. Lyn|Avery
Books Pave the Way to Destruction Yet to A Beauty Beyond Imaginations

Her Domain

286 posts from 5 June 2011
Escaping the conforms of society
To stupefy the endless expanse of the universe
Advancing into a world unknown
Please don't RIP Ask permission.
Discover where else she speaks her mind
Twitter: @theivorykeys
Facebook: Shern Lyn Khuan
Email: Contact either TorFB for details. (;

Her Cravings

• To be any JE member's adopted sister
• My first book published
• To meet NewS
• To meet Hey!Say!JUMP
• To meet Super Junior
• To meet SHINee
• To get signed to SM Entertainment
• A degree in English
• Black skinnies (:
• ~~White skinnies (:~~
• ~~A pet. Definetely~~
• Japanese boy uniform
• To perform a JE song medley
• To perform in Tokyo Dome and get signed to JE
• Another trip to Japan
• Permanent Japanese residence
• A yukata
• ~~A red and black checkered scarf~~
• To cosplay
• My first perfect Japanese bento lunch
• ~~A Japanese dictionary~~
• Understand and speak fluent Japanese
• Understand and speak fluent Korean
• National status as a writer
• A laptop or something similar
Will be updated when fancy strikes

Her One True Loves

MY BRATs TEAM. Alor Star 2011 NewS (Lots of love). Hey! Say! JUMP. Masuda Takahisa. Kato Shigeaki. Pen. Paper. Trees. Yamashita Tomohisa SHINee 3A12009. Super Junior. Nakajima Yuuto. Mathematics. Window shopping. Tegoshi Yuya. Japan! Twilight and Dusk. Kim Jong-Woon Sunset. Beaches. Rain. Stars. Inspiration. Koyama Keiichiro. Colours. Winter. Snow. Winter jackets. Nishikido Ryo.

Runaway

Ramblings&Memories

A few words would be nice. :D

By post:
a flair for words; an advertisement of sorts
my table says donghae in a corner; new beginnings
with confetti and ribbons; glitter and all
a trip down memory lane; how we and they have grown
tears of joy; overwhelming
sparkle, sparkle; filled with nonsensical stuff
the thrill of words; another masterpiece produced
the wonders of pretty boys; infatuation re-strikes
a little notice; might not be real
stupidity grips my heart; is that so wrong?

By month:
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
October 2011

no longer stupid; i trusted you but not anymore

Friday, January 15, 2010 @ 8:43 PM

no longer stupid; i trusted you but not anymore

I said that I would post this sometime once I got over You. Well, I've finally gotten over You and here's the promised post. I'm not sure if it'll be long or short. Read at your own risk?

Coming to apologize to me and admit that You had feelings for her won't change whatever had happened between us. I've finally accepted that all of it is a giant lie. Unfortunately, You didn't appreciate the intimacy and care that I had to offer and You just dumped me aside, playing with me when You knew that it would hurt me. Well, You've just lost a lot of what I have to offer and it'll never be given back.
Even apologizing now, I don't see any sincerity in it. You were just extremely stuupid. You just wanted to see how it would be for a girl to return Your 'love', eh? I won't accept Your apology. Live with the guilt that You ruined a nice little fifteen year old girl. Live with the fact that You can be so heartless. Yet, I doubt You'd even bother to remember about me after this. And You call yourself a Christian. If You never had any feelings for me, You should have said so from the start instead of leading me on.
I can never erase these things but they can be shoved to the back of my mind where it will stay in the little forgotten crevice admist many other happier memories. After all, You're so not worth my time. I seriously hate You now, you know.
I never thought I would hate someone just for breaking my heart but unfortunately, I seriously hate You. After all that intimacy, You can still be cold and aloof to me the next day. Shows how much emotion You have for someone who has given her Your heart.
And all this while of having sweet-talked me, You just wanted to see if she loves You. Just so You know, You're chasing an empty dream. She's already partnered with someone and she loves him. You're stuuupid for liking someone who's already been possessed. Lusting for another man's possession? Well, we're humans.
And just so You know, she'll like you as nothing more than a friend. So, give up and stop dreaming. Thinking back, I wonder how I could have fallen for you. Thinking back, I now realise that You are a freeking male chavunist and a freeking dominator. In love, there's no equality for You. Thinking back, I realised that You had been trying to dominate me and I hoped that you failed for I'm not some weak-minded woman.
As far as I know, my greatest asset is my brain and I'm proud of being smart. If You can't clean up Your act and practice self-restraint, You're never going anywhere in life. You're rude and extremely insufferable. You hurt tons of people around You but You don't realise. J didn't deserve Your wrath back at camp. You made him the way he was. That, I now realise. Live with that.
And a God-fearing Christian wouldn't have done what You did to me. Live with that thought too.
Saying that I was right and You were wrong and that You really did have feelings for her really makes me want to laugh. What use is there telling me now? As I said, I betrayed my own heart and my rules for You yet did You prove anything to me? You failed that test. I was stuupid. I admit.
And the way You speak to me. As if I'm dim-witted. What I first met You, the way You spoke about things made me think that You were rather intellectual. Unfortunately, A found you arrogant and a boaster. I didn't see that. I thought it was smart of You to have debated with me. I liked someone with knowledge.
Looking back, I guess I had been blind with amazement. A was right. You are arrogant and a boaster. I guess that's why I hate speaking to you. I'm not some dim-witted female who is going to agree with whatever You say. I'm not submissive. Keep that in mind.
If you want some blonde female who can't think for herself, then go ahead. If You'd really gotten to know me, You'd have known that when I get angry/frustrated, my mouth becomes really sharp.
Unfortunately, You never bothered to get to know me. You just wanted me because I was 'cheap' in Your words, yes? Well, F.Y.I., You can't kiss for peanuts and Your mouth is the grossest thing in the world.
Wet kisses are sloppy, disgusting and unprofessional. Get a life before chasing a female. You know zero about wooing a female. Grow up and develop some balls. Immature males like You are a real disgrace to the male race.
I know males who are way more beautiful on the inside and outside than You are and they don't use either to take advantage of a genteel heart of a female. Be a gentleman and grow up. Dressing formally and being in the top class doesn't instantly make You smart nor does it erase Your past mistakes.
And being in the top class just because You want to be on par with me shows Your desperation. With 4As and an attitude like Yours, don't dream that you'll be successful in Science class. You're better off where You're orginally put.
Having four As is not the issue, it's Your attitude.
And having a brain counts for something. Women love brains and You have zero. Intellect is something prized and yet You don't appreciate it and hone it.
I don't care if Your parents threw you out whatsoever or Your grandmother died. That is no excuse for not studying or being a good person. Poorer people have achieved much more in life and you with a nice house in a heavily guarded area can't even make use of what You have been given, You don't deserve it.
And I seriously think You lied to me about NewS. Oh well. I gave up trusting You a long time ago. You didn't appreciate my trust so You're not going to get it. You took it and trampled on it. I hate You. I hate You to the bottom of my guts.
So, now, to pay back for my carelessness, You're going to go into my book. And yes, You're going to be the villian. After what You did, I think You deserved it. So, be happy that I made You part of my life and my novel. It is going to be epic.
So, You'd better watch out, W.
I'm not someone you can mess with and get away with it. I might bawl and make a huge fuss at first but my brain is crude and shrewd in ways You can't imagine.
It's sharp and poisonous.
Don't forget. I'll always be watching. For when You're at your weakest and that's when I'll strike.
You think that I'm a weak-willed woman. Well, wait and see. I'll get You so bad that You'd wish You had never laid eyes on me.
You'll be sorry You ever decided to play with me.

Muchloveandappreciation,
Lynxoxo